The Fear of Success

Hadleigh 10K

The Fear of Success

Good Morning all, the sun is probably shinning somewhere not here, its actually a grey chilly morning, and I’m so (not) looking forward to my training run tonight, its not even 9am yet!.

I still have a slight ache from run at the weekend, it was a hard 10K trail / cross country run. 4 of us completing this challenging run … and why am I telling you this? Fear and how it comes in so many disguise.

We ran this last year in the rain, in the mud and I LOVED it, it was one of those runs that you actually stop during the event and take it all in, its amazing for all the reason that it is not lovely it is, I could not wait to do it again this … right up to the week of the actual run.

I was fearful … everyone expected me to do better, what happens if I could not. Would I still love it? Was I about to lose a memory that I wanted to hold onto? If I did better how would that feel? Would I have to do better again next year? I was fearful of it all, made worse by the fact that I’m the trainer, I’m the one making sure everyone else has a good time and does well

The outcome … I did better ? but the weather was better and I am probably fitter (maybe) than last year, did I enjoy it as much, no I didn’t have a moment half way round, but I don’t think you can every repeat your first time, not in the same way!

the 2 of us from last year both did better, and the other 2 completed it and were smiling at the end, it was a good result, for all the individual fears and worries, we all did it … was there really any doubt?

Would I do it again? OMG YES its is such a challenging route, keeps you on your toes over the winter period there is no other run locally to match it, does it make me want more YES, I want to power up those hills (its not going to happen) I want to get under that 1hr finishing time! I want to run more like this

The lesson, fear works in both ways, I was fearful of the whole event top to bottom, back to front, it pushed me to work hard, it did not stop me, yet I acknowledge that some of the enjoyment was lacking due to the fear –

Going forward … I need more trail training, I have not done enough, speed is great, but if you can’t get up a hill, speed is not going to help, I got to practice speed over the trails. I need to keep those legs exercises going and I have to do that yoga … I have to accept that sometimes I may not have a good run,  that sometimes we have one of those days

I need to listen to all that I preach! I spend all this time telling other people how amazing they are and just need to listen too

You all need to listen to the positive voice, the confident voice, the voice that says YES!